"digest the poop and sell the poop on ebay"

I've been reading through the archives of Scott Lynch's LiveJournal, and I found an interesting meme I can use to embarrass myself: The Opening Lines Meme.

If you want to do it as well, just put in the first line (just the first!) of any current writing projects you have lying around.

Lynch's can be found here

So here's mine (some of the titles are working placeholders, not things I would ever, ever allow an editor to see in a submission):

The Opening Line Meme:

"The Nap-Time of Fate"
It all started when the leaves turned up their shiny backs and, still
green and fresh, leapt from the trees in great, spiraling bodies.

"Bernard and the Shine of Honor"
It's normal, or so I understand, to take life lessons away from horrible circumstances.

"Raiders of the Defaulters"
Telones was a solid man, in several senses of the word.

"Bernard and the Rape of the Tock"
It was a momentous day, I'm told.

A Serendipitous Formula
Derik, our erstwhile protagonist, slept the day away in a dingy little flat above Burning Ridge's half-busy street.